Monday Mosaic
My thoughts are meandering once again and so I welcome you to yet another, Monday Mosaic.
The morning started off rather violently with a cellphone volume set on HI! rather than good morning sweet princess ears, we don’t want to disturb you but you may or may not have a phone call. So, that was awful.
Maddie agreed. Cellphone flung. Fabulous!
Also, my death defying date with Jillian, otherwise known as the onus of exercise, had to be cancelled due to what can only be described as a “fever”. Why “fever”? Golly, I’m glad you asked. Other than the facts: I am aching all over, am unreasonably tired (for someone who napped away the weekend and otherwise slept for the full and much required 9 hours), and feel like someone stuck a large tampon up my right nostril, there is no proof that I am, in fact, sickly. The thermometer says that I am a full 95.7 degrees. So, nearing death but in the wrong direction. In other words, the temperature stick is broken. Thankfully I have a mother with sensitive palms who declared “You’re warm!”. Well, yes, yes I am indeed warm. I’m also hot. And then cold. And then sweaty, which brings all the boys to the yard for sure. So as I sit here in my mismatched fuzzy slippers, my giant sized pajama pants and high school hoodie, Jillian is shaking her head at me, calling me mean names like “Kal-orie” and “Kallay Carr-bohydrate” and once she even muttered “Chubs”. I feel stupid and much like a nebbish but I also feel constipated and unable to breathe. “Working out will make you feel better!” Shut. Up.
Moving on…
Did you know that Desperate Housewives did not begin its continuation last night but rather last week? Neither did I! Until I saw the “previously on Desperate Housewives: everything that you wanted to see happened and you had no idea! Surprise!” commencement of last night’s episode. So fuck me twice! I watched the mystery epi today though. Have no fear, I am making great use of my “fever”.
I’ve been sharing my words of the day with my mother because she a) thinks my example sentences are funny and b) likes to learn new things. I’m having a hard time sharing today’s word of the day, however. Have you seen it? First of all, spell check didn’t even recognize it, which is a flagitious flaw in and of itself. Add on top of that pile of doodie that this word is the enemy of all people who have any sort of trouble with tongue twisters or just flat out have a lisp and this word, well, it sucks. If you ever have a need to practice your drunken slur, flagitious is your ticket. Pronouncing this word makes me feel like a nerd and after this ADD post will probably never use it again, thanks.
Speaking of words: Book 2 of 100 is complete and Book 3 is being eaten alive.
In conclusion:
Improv Everywhere made people take their pants off on the Subway. Chicago participated as well. The fact that it’s January seems irrelevant to these people, which makes it all the more humorous. Enjoy!
And don’t forget…
Feed the people!
Feed the dogs!
P.S. I have noticed the rising amount of viewers of CoffeeTalk and FoodFodder and am working diligently to find words for these pages other than the ubiquitous “coming soon”! Sorry about all that.
Posted on January 11, 2010, in BookPile, CoffeeTalk, Family, FoodFodder, Furkids, Losing the Cow, Madeline (the kitteh), Mom, Monday Mosaic and tagged BookPile, cellphone throwdown, CoffeeTalk, fever, flagiWHAT, FoodFodder, funny, fuzzy slippers, Give and Learn, goals, i wish i could have walked around pantsless on the El in Chicago, ill, sick, the ridiculous, TV Addict, weight loss, weight loss motivation, word of the day. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.
Clever – also adroit, skillful, talented, adept, gifted, smart, cute – all words which describe you and your writing. Have you ever thought about writing comedy? I read both of your latest posts. Hilarity as usual. Hope you feel better soon so you can once again show Jillian what your made of. Happy Monday!
Yes… tomorrow Jillian and I have some boxin’ to do!
And as always… thank you for your kind words. You’re a sweetheart!
“what you’re made of” not your! OOPS.
oh jillian, that bitchy, muscular… bitch. i only say that because i just got home from the gym and immediately went for the hershey’s golden almond…to which i know jillian would probably have a heart attack and then stop seizing momentarily to call me a fatass and then casually go back to her cardiac arrest. anywhooo. enjoy your fuzzy slippers and sweatpants as much as you can, and get some emergen-c! that stuff totally works (and guess what? they have a pink kind now! I KNOW!! i totally thought of you when i bought it. and it’s pink lemonade flavored and *actually* tastes like pink lemonade. win win!) get better soon, love! xoxo
So here’s a new goal: Find pink lemonade Emergen-C! I used to have the raspberry flavored one. Hm… perhaps in one of the umpteen boxes?
Oooh, great use of the word of the day, flagitious. (spellcheck be damned) FTR…I mispronounced it on purpose:)
Isn’t that great that your mom trumped the thermometer? After all, moms know best and if you are sick, they can tell. I wanted to tell you that, before I was diagnosed w/hypothyroidism, my temp was always low. AND I often felt feverish. So, it wasn’t in my head:) Well…you take care of yourself. And screw Jillian. Maybe you could get a couple more tampons and shove them in your ears so you don’t hear her. LMAO.
Although it’s a little different than Housewives, I missed the new episode of “Medium” last week…which became one of my faves a couple of years ago. It was the first one in like 6 weeks and my dish bugged out and I went outside and was yelling every version of fuckiddyfuck at my roof, where the dish was safely out of my reach. And for that little tirade I was rewarded w/NO signal for the next 12 hours. Little bitch.
Isn’t that the icing on the cake? Gawd. It’s like, I just want to watch my show. Can I do that? No, because you, stupid cable box machine, can’t handle it. MAN UP!
And, per your advice, I will be going to the doctor soon. I have a wedding to attend soon so between work and trying to get everything together for that I don’t have a ton of time. So when I get back, me and the medicals are going to have a nice long visit.
I think your example sentences are pretty funny too… but perfect! Keep it up girl. And tell Jillian to eff off. Feel better.
Haha!! Thanks! The nose thing went away and the fever for now. Now I just have a weird ache on the right side of my throat. I’ve taken more vitamins and had more tea in the past two days than I really care for but I’m going to fight it. Have to! I have a wedding and a very, very long plane ride to attend to!
One time I took my pants off while I was driving. Does that count as Improv Everywhere?
I’m sorry you are sick! Jillian can shove it if she thinks you should work out in that state. Just rest and get better. It’s probably all her fault anyway.
How the hell did you do that? You have super powers, I’m convinced.
As for me, now that the fever is gone, I’m going to do Jillian again tomorrow. I can work out with a cold but the whole shaky achy fever thing is a no go. I blame her too!
I’m glad you are on the mend!! Today I’m the one who can’t lift my arm (tetanus shot) so hopefully you will be spared. Good luck with Exercise Hitler.
I think my consistent practice of yoga probably helped in the driving while removing pants process.
That is some poo that you’re not feeling well. I hereby cast my vote also for use of EmergenC and do make a second recommendation that you invest in some Zycam. Uber doses of immune system goodness to overcome a cold before it has a chance to really take off.
As for Jillian.. so hard to take her seriously.
I’m all for remedies right now. I can. not. be sick. At all. I have to get on a plane. Coughing and snotting on a plane is SO not how to meet new people.