I really have nothing interesting to say today.
Okay, yes I do. But it’s not pretty.
I’m having a minor meltdown re: fashion.
I understand that fashion is supposed to repeat itself. I understand that the 80′s are supposed to be “in” this year. But Christ on a Cupcake! The 80s weren’t even “in” in the 80′s!
Caroline and I were browsing through the online shopping mecca of Target last night and this is where my meltdown began…
Fashion Fail
That’s a tiered fecking skirt. Madonna used to wear those. With leggings. And leather. And her hair was something akin to The Great Tease. How is this cute? I don’t get it! To make matters worse (as if), they have to assign these fashion (please) don’ts names like Prairie Ditsy and Mint Gel. Why not just go ahead and call them scary? That would save money in the creative department, no? These are just wrong… on all four cotton levels.
Also making a big come back… tie dye. So does that mean weed’s going to be legal now too?
I mean really, if you want fashion advice for spring? Just go to peopleofwalmart.com. They seem to have this season’s “must haves” down pat. You are now free to break out your jean corsets, your leather fringed boots and your off the shoulder sweatshirts. Go ahead! Wear that shit in public! Don’t forget your leopard print handbag and shoulder pads! Mustard? Yeah, you can wear that too. Emphasis on YOU. Oh God… I just… I can’t. I’m done.
Caroline is coming to visit me on Monday to talk me down from the ledge. I’m tres excited about that. (What? They said tres in the 80′s!) We’re going to Chicago and I’m going to introduce her to my (other) “boyfriend” Julius… I love him. I would marry him if he weren’t a coffee bean. I need to write some articles and I’m fresh out of cafes to review so… I’m going to rack up as much information as possible and visit some new cafes. Thank God Caroline is as obsessed with good coffee as I am! It should be a fructuous adventure! I’m also hell bent on writing off my coffee and train ticket as business expenses. I love being a writer sometimes. (And I’m wearing my non-ripped, non tie-dyed jeans thankyouverymuch.)
In other news, one of my friends posted a link to this guy on Facebook yesterday. I almost peed my pants laughing and Caroline lost hearing for a while because I made the mistake of reading it while on the phone with her. If you’ve ever worked in the restaurant industry, you need to read this.
Off to go dig out my hot pink lipstick! Byeeee.
(3 days! <3)
Um, HI! I’m bouncing as I read this because I’m so excited. How excited? I started cleaning my room and organizing my things so my mom won’t ground me. (I know. I’m almost 25. What’s your point?)
Re: tiered skirts, though. I saw the one whose picture you posted, and it’s actually kind of cute. NOT tiered in the way I’d expect. A little short (if you live in Leg City, which we do), but some tights and cute flats would make it rock.
*girl giggles* So excited!!!
Also… yes, leg city does not allow for short skirts. And leg city with a great ass REALLY doesn’t allow for tiers.
What can we do? It’s a blessing and a curse.
Google “pajama jeans” and prepare to be horrified.
Yes.
Horrification: Complete. I shared on Facebook. That’s how horrifying it was!
Skirt is sort of cute,… does it come in see through red? I have a tall dark man that I want to dress up in it…
If they bring tie dye horror thing back, they better legalize weed. Would need that weed,.. everything looks better when you are weeded..
Write off the coffee as an expensive,… it is a vital vice, me says.
Honestly, at this point, I would not be surprised if the tiered skirt DIDN’T indeed come in see through red. This *IS* the 80′s you know!
I can’t even talk about tie dye. It makes me sad for those of us who wear a lot of color. I wonder if I can still find solid colored shirts?
im totally with you on these new styles… moreso because of the print. ive just never been a ginormous flower print kind of gal, and i saw that exact skirt at target last week and just stared at it and pouted thinking, this is what my summer is going to look like? FUCK!
Yes. I think that is the correct term: FUCK!
I’m way more into the major vintage looks over the 80′s comeback. I thought everyone agreed that the 80′s were better left IN THE 80′s. Or not?
See, that’s what I was thinking. Apparently I thought wrong! We all did. And now we get to be depressed all summer long. And wear tie dye.
I’m with you on the bringing back of the 80′s. AWFUL. I wasn’t into 80′s fashion in the 80′s, and now that we’re “supposed” to be so much more evolved, I just don’t get it. It’s very uninspired.
Here I was, all afraid of getting flamed for not being a fan of the 80s stylings… I feel much better now that I’m not the only one rowing this boat.
If the 80′s coming back means we get more mullets, then i’m all for it. Has there been a better haircut in human history? No. I think not.
Only because it’s the best blog fodder there ever was. Bad mullett posts will never get old.
I”m with you on the fashion. I almost died the other day at the mall when I saw acid wash jeans in a window. Literally I almost died. They were hideous then, they’re even worse now. All they needed was to be tight rolled & paired with a Hyper Color shirt. Remember those?
And what’s with the jumpers? We’re not 8. Who are these people kidding?
Hyper Color shirts… Ah… those were the days. I was in 5th grade. And jumpers? There are jumpers now too? I feel like I should write to the Editor of Vogue and flog her for bringing back her teenage years. What an asshole.
ewwww blossom skirt! You know… when they brought back neon… I dealt with it and looked the other way. I can’t throw stones since I live in the glass house that once rocked neon orange and pink nail polish on the daily in the late 80′s and early 90′s. I also let it go when stretch pants came in style again – because let’s be honest it’s nice to not have to worry about wind blowing up your dress and exposing you. But the final straw was when they started putting shoulder pads back in clothing. UGH it was hot in the days of Dynasty or Dallas and it’s certainly not hot now. I don’t care how much smaller it makes Kim Kardashian’s booty look – they are SICK!
I’m also not pleased about the whole MC Hammer pants trend either. I have enough volume in my butt region I don’t need to wear these again – like I did in middle school with half shirts… yeah that’s right U CAN’T TOUCH THIS!
I’m with you 100%
I’m becoming speechless the more and more I shop around. I just don’t understand where this is coming from. People make fun of the 80s. And now we’re supposed to embrace it? What? So we can ALL end up on the worst dressed list? *buzz* Not happening.
Those Hammer pants scare the hell out of me. Every time I see them I stop, gape, sputter, and run away fuming.
Christ on a cupcake is my new favorite phrase.
The 80′s were not a kind decade to me. I’m also really upset about this latest fashion trend.
Yay!! A phrase trend! Love it!
Also… the 80s were mean to me too. I wonder if they’re going to bring back hair ties with balls?
I have to admit that I liked some of the 80′s fashion…mostly the jewelry, though. Layers and layers of it. But the hair? My head still hasn’t forgiven me yet for all the shit I put it through. I was a regular perm whore.
I went to visit Luke’s site and yeah! he’s a funny guy. I told him I think that the ‘people of walmart’ must’ve showed up for dinner after shopping. Poor guy.
I think I successfully avoided the most embarrassing trends of the 80′s. My hair was on the big side but I never had that “wall of bangs”.
Be strong, Kallay. You can do it.
<3
Yeah! Having nothing to do with less than 3 days! I was extra-alarmed by the 80's comeback last May when Jen Lancaster asked all of her book tour attendees to dress in full 80's gear (because y'know..Pretty in Plaid is all about the 80's) and it was AMAZINGLY easy to stock up on fish net, stripes, and tye-die…at TARGET!!! All I missed were my Chucks. And jeans with zippers. Not a fan. Why can't we just stick with what was hot in the 40's? I love a flapper dress! And a feather in my hat.