I’m feeling a long post coming on. You’ve been warned. Or congratulated. Whichever you prefer, really.
The blog I am about to dismantle and over analyze I came across on another blog that I read called Hooking Up Smart. Susan has some fantastic advice and is usually spot on when it comes to dating. She recently posted a link to this blog called The 100 Girls in 100 Days Project. She seemed to have a high opinion of this young man and his “brave” approach to dating. Caroline seems to be on the fence. Me? I loathe him. I’m the girl who can’t give up on the happy ending no matter how hard I try and this guy has thrown in the towel. Sad days people, sad. days. Here are some things that have taken place over on my Facebook Wall:
Caroline: “… And I don’t know about this guy. Reading it to figure out. It’s one part annoying and one part ‘meh, people are what they are,’ you know?”
Kallay: “I’m on Day 17. He is not charming my pants off yet. That’s for damn sure.”
Caroline: “Ha! No, not at all. I feel bad for him, but he’s not earning any gold stars.”
Kallay: “I feel bad for him like I feel bad for the people of Walmart. Ya know? I mean on one hand… they don’t have a lot of money! But neither do I! And I don’t leave the house looking like I belong on some obscure website with oodles of back fat and pet monkeys and WTF is she wearing!? So, in conclusion, sure… they’re poor, but that’s no excuse for landing yourself on America’s Worst Dressed List.”
Caroline: “Yeah, but I’m 90 days in now and it’s interesting to see what he thinks and feels, because he has thoughts and feelings, despite his project.”
Kallay: “When I get to Day 90 I’ll see if my feelings change. So far, I hate him. Okay not hate. I dislike his thought process. I’m not understanding how any of this is making him feel better about himself which I believe was the original intention. Like, if some asshole breaks up with me because he’s a douche bag… I date Ben & Jerry for a month and then get back out there. This guy? He dates Jane, Joan, Jerri, and 97 of the other J women and still feels like shit. So… I guess that’s where I think he fails. (Along with the other part where he is intentionally hurting women to get his rocks off. Rocks being his project, balls, and what have you.)”
Caroline: “Ha! Like I said, I’m not condoning his thought processes. But it’s hard to condemn them too much. Criminy. I know what my tortuous brainwaves look like. Pot-kettle?”
Kallay: “No, you’re so much better than he is. You wouldn’t intentionally date 100 guys in 100 days just to write a stupid blog about how shitty you feel about your love life and then continue on with the process just for shits & giggles. Which is kind of how this feels. And I’m only on Day 17. So far he’s had revenge sex, regretsy sex, and raunchy sex and none of that has made him feel better. Plus booze. He needs couch time. Without a lady. You don’t. 
“
(Some TWSS jokes ensued, then…)
Caroline: “But…I feel bad for blogger dude. He clearly feels like crap and isn’t doing anything other than wading through the mire. And he sort of gives up on it at the end.”
Kallay: “He should have given up in the beginning. Also… he feels like crap because all he did was pour salt in his wounds for 100 days. Dumb. Ass.”
And now a perverse over analyzation of the blog that never should have been…
This blog is like a disaster you need to see through ’til the end. Sort of like the 2000 election of Bush where everyone stayed up all night watching the states roll in, only to come up with a tie and a recount that would last a month. No one can stay awake for a month. Trust me. I’ve tried, or rather I had insomnia and eventually sleep won, usually only for about 4 hours, but still, sleep conquered me like I was its little bitch. This blog is so much of a natural disaster that I can’t help but keep reading. I need closure. I need to know why “Travis” feels the need to continually torture himself. He’s the antithesis of everything I want in a man. He’s an alcoholic, stubborn, overly sexual, cocky, son of a bitch who has blanketed himself in the worst kind of self pity and self loathing. He’s destructive. He’s manipulative. And he’s completely shitting on his friends and neighbors for a project that he hates as much in the beginning as he does in the end. His goal was to date 100 girls in 100 days. To step out of his comfort zone and meet women in ways he’s never done before. The problem I’m having as I get sucked further and further into his black hole of depression is that he’s not really meeting girls in new ways. He’s always drunk or hungover or both. He sucks down coffee like a tried and true suicidal insomniac and has done nothing but learned 100 new ways to hate himself. I. Don’t. Get. This.
He wants people to feel sorry for him for being the poor broken hearted guy who can’t think of a better way to self medicate but to write a blog about not calling anyone back. BUT THEN HE CALLS THEM BACK! (Or texts them back.) And he falls for his friend who laughs at him for falling for her. Add that on top of the fact that he’s not actually dating 100 different girls in 100 days. He’s lying to himself and pretending to not be looking for the girl of his dreams by going through them like tickets at the county fair and then hating himself for it. Then he waxes poetic about how many great books he’s read and how his taste in music is superior and how he enjoys sharing those things with a few of the women he’s dated(ing). (Oddly enough, I do have a small shred of pride in his music taste… I digress.) He’s extremely fickle about his situation. One minute it’s all project, project, project, then the next minute he’s scotching it up with another girl in his lap and complaining about how he would like to see her again. What the fuck, over!?
If this blog were a movie it would be: Cruel Intentions meets How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days meets Empire Records. Let me explain. (In case you are not up to date on Chick Flicks and the best movie ever made.) In Cruel Intentions, Sebastian journals about his “conquests” which is to say… he writes a daily journal about the girls he’s fucking and let’s face it, he’s not making love, he’s fucking. I loved the movie but found the idea profoundly disgusting. (Because I’m a hopeless romantic and if I was ever someone’s conquest I would. be. pissed.) Okay, so then there’s How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days where these two destined souls intentionally drive each other mad for the sole purpose of a bet (in his case) or an article (in her case). They end up both feeling like douche canoes and they kiss and make up on The Brooklyn Bridge. End Scene. The only similarity between 100 Mistakes in 100 Days and Empire Records is that the guy really does know his music and I was a big fan of the Empire Records soundtrack. Still am. So… here’s what we have… We have a guy who journals about his dates and fucks on the internet while hating himself and listening to good music, drunk and over caffeinated.
He’ll probably land a huge book deal out of this because, Lord knows, any publisher who doesn’t take on this tragic tale is a complete moron. Do I condone his project? Absolutely not. Do I think any of this was a good idea? Um… really not. Do I think it’s interesting and hard to put down? Yes. Which is why I’ve spent the better part of the day doing none of the things I needed to do and reading this train wreck of a story instead. I feel bad for the girls who liked him and never got a call back. I feel bad for the girls he chose because he simply had no other options. I feel bad for the girls he actually likes but won’t commit to because of his idiotic project. I feel bad for the girls that have to see him every day in his regular coffee shop/dive bar routine who probably never get another side glance or half smile. I feel bad for his reflection in the mirror. But mostly I feel bad for his liver.
Go read. And then let’s discuss.
In Susan’s defense, she did acknowledge what a train wreck he was. He’s definitely a cautionary tale, though, with all his misery and self-loathing and hiding in a bottle of scotch. The project is supposed to be about testing himself or whatever for 100 days, but all we really see is how sad he is. Dude needs some therapy. Truly.
True… she did say that and I still love her. But this guy? Uh uh. No way. This blog reads like a very long drawn out suicide note.
It’s like a modern Catcher in the Rye, only more disaffected. But it highlights the social anxieties and cynicism that seem to have paralyzed our generation. This guy’s just a drop in the bucket.
my brain hurts just thinking about it.. 100 different girls in 100 days. You can’t even get to know someone after one date – half the time it’s not a train wreck until the 4th date. Sort of unfair to these girls. At least How to Lose a Guy in 10 days was 10 days.
I hate to believe I’m a hopeless romantic but under this cynical exterior I really am and this project while mildly brilliant and great writing material – makes me sick. The feminist woman inside me is annoyed and seriously grossed out by it.
Oddly if the shoe was on the other food – Would I feel a chick doing this was awesome and empowered for dating 100 guys in 100 days… hard to say but I’m shallow enough to admit, I’d kind of like that better. Sexist, yes but at the same time it’s like following Samantha and Carrie all over NYC. I guess his is more like Swingers all over Vegas baby! ???
Either way not my cup of tea and I’m thankful I didn’t run into him ever in my life!
P.S. I forgot to mention how much I loved Empire Records and the Soundtrack. Second only to Singles my all time favorite romance movie – EVER and a killer soundtrack (sorry I’m a grunge-o-holic).
so tell me what you REALLY think
I just did darlin’. I think it’ll do well as a book, but I think your project was a little misguided. I hope you finally find that peace you set out to find.
he’s a fake…he makes up & blogs fictional dates…not all of his posts are fake, but he’s admitted to a mutual friend that plenty of them are
If that were true… I would be a smidge relieved.
I honestly think that you’ve done this man a disservice here. I think you missed the part where he’s a human being. This isn’t a scripted show where he knows exactly where he’s going and will learn a valuable lesson. Sure, he’s messed up, but I don’t see where that gives you licence to attack him for failing. I don’t understand that.
I’m not attacking him for failing. I’m not forgetting he’s human. I just don’t understand the thought process of healing your own heart when you’re hurting others’. There’s a piece of karma missing there. Like I said, I just don’t get it. I don’t expect him to explain it either. It’s his blog. But I am allowed to have an opinion about it.
I’m not sure what is so disgusting about having a date with someone new for 100 days? (Even though some of them weren’t dates or even new…)
It’s not at all like “vegas baby!!!” because not all of his dates were sexual (were any?).. not only that, but I’m not sure what you’re expecting… love at first sight on date #47 and he admits he’s a prick and deletes his blog promptly?
Welcome to NYC.
There’s nothing disgusting about having a date with someone new for 100 days. Also, a lot of his dates were sexual. That’s not even the disgusting part either because those girls were willing and able and more power to them for playing the player or whatever the fuck was going on there. People have one night stands. I get that. Been there… I just don’t understand how he went from wanting this to be a journey of healing his heart and doing something new to achieve that, to getting sloshed every night and trying to randomly hook up with women for a project. All I’m saying is that I think his project got a little too big for his project if that makes any sense to you.
I like the 100 girls in 100 days project! its interesting, dont take your boredom out on this poor guy.
I’m not bored. I just don’t understand how breaking other people’s hearts can mend your own. Yes, it’s interesting… like train wrecks are interesting. You’ll even see how I mentioned his stuff SHOULD be published. Because it really IS that interesting.
Where does he break hearts? First dates don’t tend to break my heart…
He mentions having some really good dates with people and then saying he would call them. And then under his breath… just kidding sucka! No I won’t! Girls hang on the words “I’ll call you…”, it’s a fact. If he didn’t intend on calling… he should have just left that whole mess out of it.
I don’t think that’s heartbreaking… Of course no one has ever not called me after a first date. lol. jk. It’s dissappointing when you don’t get a call but it’s heartbreaking when you’ve fallen in love with someone and they decide one day that they’re done.
I agree. It is. It’s happened to me. I totally get his being sick of the dating world and wanting something more. I just don’t understand how all of that made him feel better about himself or about dating in general.
I agree. But, I thinkhe was just testing himself. We all pretend to be someone we’re not sometimes. Just to see what it would be like. The other side of the fence ya know. Isn’t that what people go to Vegas for?
Okay… that part I get too. But when you get to the other side of the fence and say to yourself (and hundreds of readers) God, this fucking sucks! Why am I doing this!? in so many words… wouldn’t you be inclined to then say to yourself, “Hey, self! Maybe we should rethink this whole shindig. Perhaps try another angle?” But he doesn’t. He just forges forward with his Beta male brain thinking that he should try to be more like an Alpha male. And rather than feeling better and better about himself, the self loathing not only follows him into a brand new year but also gets worse. And then he’s a full throttle player when he started out a half decent guy. (with great taste in music) It’s just sad.
lol this is funny.
Thanks!
Most guys: “Yeah, you rock, dude!” (yes, I’m stereotyping)
Me: “…. you’re an idiot!”
I would love to hear more of the guy’s perspective here. I totally don’t get this. Maybe I wear my heart on my sleeve. (always) But this is just sad with a capital depressing.
Well, I’m not like most guys, for one. I don’t see any reason to “date” more than one person at once, or to hop from 1 female to the next. Maybe I’m just mad that this guy has the balls to actually talk to women, whereas for me it’s a struggle. But regardless… While his original intention might have been decent, his end result was predictable and worthless.
So part of it, for you, is a jealousy thing. Which I get. Because if I was a dude, I think I would be pretty pissed about this whole thing too. BUT… I agree with you that the original intention wasn’t half bad. The result… not awesome.
I’d go so far to say that I’d the majority of my readers are women.
I feel I would fail with a guy’s perspective, because, well, I pretty much agree. It’s shallow, and pretty much a mockery and/or what’s wrong with the current dating scene. But, I shall refrain from coming across as sensitive or whatever, since that would make me gay and/or weak to anyone who supports this sort of thing, and just cracked noggins with their frat brother and said “Dude, let’s do this!!” And then ate pudding or something else that is anticlimactic, but much more realistic.
Dang, now I want to read this blog! I am so on it now,.. love me some train wrecks.
Hahahahaha!!!! You’re awesome. Enjoy the disaster!
you are so funny. and you just upped his readership. haha. but im goin over there. i gots to check this out.
listen, i cant barely BARELY commit to p90x AND blogging for 90 days. Actually I havent (last post was far too long ago). He MUST be a loser if he can actually go on dates (ok, sleep around and drink heavily) AND THEN blog about it. Either a loser or has 32 hours in his day. which, if that’s the case then I entirely and completely jealous….
LOL! I totally did. I really do think his blog is interesting and like I said before too, I would be SHOCKED if he couldn’t get a book deal out of this thing. It would be a great book on modern culture and what’s wrong with the dating scene today. I think it would go absolutely bonkers and he would be a rich man. I’m not sure I would say he’s a loser… I’m definitely not a big fan of what he did though. It was mostly unclassy and disappointing. But you’re right… I never really thought of that… doesn’t he have a day job? Not that I would judge someone who was unemployed. I just went through that myself but seriously… this whole thing is extremely suspicious and strange. And if he *is* unemployed… he won’t be for much longer. This will definitely be a book someday.
I agree, this totally sounds like book material…and I have to admit, I would pick it up off the shelf and read it. Just waiting to see if he gets on that bandwagon…
I’m pretty sure I’m not going to even venture over to look at his blog. He sounds gross and sad. He actually sounds a lot like an old friend of mine only more of a jackass. Which is sad.
I was always the girl who wanted a boy that had respect for himself, a guy that dated girls that he could actually SEE himself with, a laid back guy that got along with everyone, had confidence, was sweet and funny.
Oh wait. I have that guy.
Anyway, no girl is going to respect this guy, from what it sounds like. That’s kind of sad for him.
Well, shit. I’m off to waste my day away reading about this guy’s stupid project. Just from your description though, i already have a bad taste in my mouth. But i can see how it will be hard to pull away.
will be back to discuss soon…
Oh. my. cow. I don’t think I can read that. It certainly sounds like he is self-destructive whether he realizes it or is just delusional. I am sorry for him and the girls that he is “dating”.
So… what else are you reading? :0)
OK…so I went over and read about 5 or 6 posts…which was easy to do, considering that they were all pretty short. I’m not sure how you can sum up a girl in 200 words or less, as he tends to do, but then I’m not sure you can really know enough about a girl to write a sizable post after just one date. I’m not sure how he thought this project would set him on a path of healing. When I needed healing after a particularly brutal break-up, I actually took a year off from any sort of dating. I think if you wanted to do this project with full disclosure to the girls you “date” up front, that’s one thing…but this is sad and really not even that interesting for reading. It’s vague and superficial and hard to believe that there’s much authenticity to the whole thing. But congrats on tackling a topic that incites fire and passion. If nothing else, he has done the same thing with his blog and you can’t blame a guy for trying to land a book deal.
So you set fit to judge me on 5 or 6 posts? Which, if you think about it, is a whole heck of a lot less time then spending an evening with someone. I can equate four your relationships into four sentences. Yeah, some girls require a deeper understanding. Second, third, forth, readings, but nine times out of ten a cup of coffee will pretty much tell you if it’s something you want to actively pursue. How many first dates do people go on, and wind up forgetting that person exists unless they really, really think about it?
When one puts themselves out there for all the world to see, as in writing a blog about personal issues and such, then one should be open to criticizm. Just sayin.
I’m more than open to criticism
I’d like to think so. But you seem to be getting offended at the judgement you receive, i.e. “So you se(e) fit to judge me on 5 or 6 posts?” What do you care? And that will be my direct bit of criticism here. You seem to care too much about what they think. You seem to be searching for validation and acceptance. You’ve come to the wrong shop for that, brother. I would think that anyone who could treat 100 women like shit in just as many days would be past that “Why don’t you like me!?” thing. But, that’s the real trick, isn’t it. Look, dude, it’s your life. Do as you will. But you won’t find any cures on the road you’re traveling. Just sayin.
Hiya Kallay sweets! I’m home-freakin’ A sick again. This time hubs passed on his little goodie to me…and anyway, perfect time to check out the dude’s site. (me thinks he’s a little smitten w/you, BTW)
Hi! I left you a little something bitchy on my site!